Barbershop

It had taken a while for the community to accept that this petite Thai woman with a heavy Asian accent was actually Jamal. Quite honestly, Jamal barely believed it either; the whole experience of body swapping had been traumatizing, and the fact that he maintained this woman’s accept made no sense to him.

Yet inside, he was the same man he’d always been. He was still the best damned barber in Harlem and he set about putting his new hair back into its trademark dreadlocks.

And while the community accepted Jamal and his new body, it was still a big shock for newcomers. Her style and attitude seemed more like cultural appropriation than authenticity, yet Jamal still understood how to style Black hair better than just about anyone.

Paris

Jacques looked back at his former body, no longer understanding what the woman trapped inside was shouting at him -- even though she was speaking French; his mind in this new body no longer understood the language he had spoken since he was a boy. He could likely guess what she was saying. She was probably shouting about the body swap, or blaming him, or demanding they switch back.

But he hadn’t been responsible for the swap, though he certainly saw himself as the clear beneficiary. He didn’t know how he happened either, but he was now a Mandarin-speaking Chinese woman -- one of the many tourists that visited Paris each year, often donning berets and expensive French fashion. There was a little English in the back of his brain as well, but no way to communicate with his former French self.

No matter, for some reason he felt like he could manage this new life on instinct.

Unusual

“You got to admit that it’s a pretty messed up punishment,” Jerome said to Lawrence, “Isn’t there something in the Constitution against cruel and unusual?”

“It’s not so bad.” Lawrence replied, “Plus, I avoid jail time.”

“They stuck you in an old white lady’s body for how long? For how much weed?” Tyler interjected.

“Two weeks. It was just an eighth.”

Jerome decided to ask more, “And that old lady is just fine with being you for two weeks? Did she just volunteer for this or something? To treat young Black men a lesson or something?”

“Oh, God, no!” Lawrence laughed, “She’d absolutely miserable in my body! If you think this is bad for me, this is way worse for her! She was caught dong some sort of racist hate crime and forced into this punishment by the judge as much as I am. And apparently, my two weeks as her is only a short period of her very long sentence.”

All of Lawrence’s friends laughed at that, and then they returned to their game. It was still weird that their buddy was in the body of some crusty old white lady, but the fact that she was a miserable racist temporarily in a Black man’s body somehow made it better, or at least funny.

なにこれ?

“なにこれ?” Steven said as he tried to make sense of what was happening. But even the words coming out of mouth made him concerned. He was speaking in a language he didn’t understand with seemingly fluency. He was in a strange city and in a strange body -- a woman’s body.

And if all that wasn’t bad enough, the breeze kept blowing his dress up, and he kept having to hold it down. He thought the dress looked silly and juvenile, but he checked the ID in her purse. She was 32. Was she trying to look young? Or did she just have a kawaii style? Either way, he was the one dealing with it, and he felt like an idiot!

Didn’t he?

In much the way his mind had adapted to the language, his mind was slowly starting to change on everything. The dress wans’t so bad, was it? It was actually kind of cute. Kind of? No. It was exactly his style. Correction: HER style!

Honey

My body felt trapped and frozen while sitting in that chair. I couldn’t move or speak, but I could see. I could see the scientist fiddling with the knobs on the machine; I could see them poke at me with various medical instruments and feeding tubes. From time to time, I would black out -- I assumed those were night and my body was simply tired.

But things changed one day when a man came in. He also fiddled with the knobs and suddenly I could move again. He hugged me in a way that was oddly intimate that made me uncomfortable before speaking in a soothing tone in a language I couldn’t understand.

“Do you speak English?” I asked.

He seemed confused, but he began speaking with a heavy accent in broken English, “Honey, did machine...hurt you?”

“Honey? I’m --” I paused as I looked down at two thing, smooth legs. I reached up to feel my face. My beard was gone and it was even smoother. Even if I had been shaven when I first got in this chair, there should be substantial stubble by now. As the realization sunk in, I continued speaking, “I’m not your ‘Honey.’ I’m not your wife or girlfriend or whoever you think I am. This machine must be some sort of body swapping machine, which means my body has to be around here somewhere. I’m not sure if you know enough to use it to get her and I back to normal?”

The man looked confused. I had probably spoken too quickly in a language he just didn’t understand too well. But I needed to explain that I wasn’t who he thought I was!

Miss Worldwide (Part 2)

View Part 1 of Miss Worldwide.

After being recognized as being in the body of a celebrity, it wasn’t long before Jason was noticed by an agent who spoke English found him. There was, of course, a lot of money in keeping this woman’s career going, and Jason soon found himself signing a contract worth a lot of money to do so.

And so he soon found himself at modeling at photo shoots, backstage at fashion shows, and even filming commercials and television shows. His agent helped him crossover into the English-speaking market -- obviously due to the fact that Jason spoke it perfectly. This only made him a bigger star back in Asia.

There was a condition to all; however. While it was obvious Jason was swapped into this body as a result of the Great Shift, he couldn’t mention the fact that he was a man. When asked about it in interviews, he simply changed the subject. Every once and a while, he’d drop a story about growing up as a girl just to make it convincing. Still, he knew he was living a lie, and he was always worried the truth would come out.

Miss Worldwide

Jason had found himself on the other side of the world after the Great Shift happened. His first thought was to try to tell people he knew that he was alive and well, despite now being in the body of an Asian woman. But phones and email seemed to be struggling, likely due to everyone needed for basic maintenance of these systems were also swapped. He was sure they’d be back up soon, and in the meantime he spent his days studying his new face in the mirror.

She was certainly an attractive woman with plenty of makeup and lots of fancy clothes, though Jason was opting for things like comfortable pants and sweatshirts that seemed to be stuffed in the back of the closet.

After some time, he decided to go around the neighborhood; he’d eventually run out of food in her apartment. People in this woman’s building didn’t seem to speak any English, and the signs on the streets weren’t much help either; but he did manage to find a mall. And inside he saw something that truly shocked him.

It looked like an ad for perfume, but the woman in the ad -- was him (or, more precisely, the woman’s body he currently had). He was in the body of a model! Or an actress! Or something like that! And, sure enough, as he stood next to the ad, other people began to notice it as well. It wasn’t long before a small crowd gathered round to try to talk to Jason in a language he didn’t understand or ask for an autograph or take a selfie together. He had thought being swapped into a body that was a different gender on the other side of the world was wild, but the fact that he was a celebrity took it to a whole new level!

Back in Time for Breakfast

In the days after the Great Shift, Ava had been worried about her brother Mattias. He was the only one she cared about that she hadn’t heard from. For weeks, she feared the worst. Ultimately, she was surpried to hear from him via email. It turned out he had swapped into a woman’s body halfway across the world in the Middle East. Trying to explain who he really was turned out to be a chore due to language differences and a good number of woman trying to use the Shift as a reason to leave their husbands.

Getting back to the states took several more weeks, but Ava was there to pick him up at the airport first thing in the morning. When Matias mentioned he was hungry, she brought him to a diner. He proceded to order a beer and an excessive amount of bacon.

After chomping on a piece of bacon and taking a swig of beer, he looked over to his sister. “Thank you,” He said, “I know it’s a little early for booze, but they just don’t have this over there! And I can’t wait to go shopping for some clothes and ditch these outfits. Maybe we can go together? Bring mom and dad? It’s going to be so weird seeing them in new bodies, especially since they are no older than us now, right?”

Burqa

Afareen was happy to quickly get in touch with the person now in her body after the Great Shift. And even though it had only been a couple of hours, she almost didn’t recognize herself.

“What did you do with my burqa?” She asked, quite shocked to see her body outside without it.

“Dude, I changed out of that thing the first chance I had and into some real clothes,” Zeke replied.

“But...please...no!” Afareen struggled to find the right words, “You have to! At least my hijab, please!”

“But that’s your culture, not mine! You’re not going to catch me wearing any of that stuff! You can’t force it on me just because I have your body now.”

Showtime

“Fifteen minutes until showtime,” A voice said through a walkie talkie sitting on a makeup stand.

Stewart didn’t know what to do. Mere moments ago, he had been sitting at home alone. Then suddenly he was backstage at a concert in a stadium, and weirder still was that he wasn’t inside his own body anymore. He was now inhabiting the body of a kpop superstar, one of the biggest artists in the world. But he didn’t know any of her songs; he barely even recognized her name; he definitely didn’t speak Korean! He certainly couldn’t go on stage to perform, but how was he going to explain that to anyone? No one would believe he was in the wrong body. Heck, he barely believed it, and he was living it!

“Five minutes until showtime.” The voice said.

He grabbed the walkie talkie. “I can’t do it,” He said into the walkie, but he realized he was saying it in Korean. He began to sit and think. He didn’t know how he did that! It was more like instinct than rational thought. Maybe the songs and dacning would be like that too. Mabe he could actually pull this off...

Beef

After a weird incident in the park involving a strange man with a body swapping raygun, Brian found himself in the body of a young Indian woman named Chanda. The police eventually apprehended the strange man and were using the raygun to swap everyone back to normal. There was only one problem for Brian, he had no idea where Chanda or his own body had run off to. Luckily, Chanda’s sister Anika offered to help him look.

The two searched in the park and into the surrounding streets with no luck. They decided to take a break for lunch and stopped by a fast food place.

Brian took a few bites of his hamburger, but soon stopped to look at with disgust, “Ugh, I think they messed up my order. This is gross.”

Anika shrugged, “Mine tastes fine. It’s probably because you have Chanda’s body. Technically beef is against our religion or whatever, so she doesn’t eat it. You’ll probably be vomitting it up in another hour or so.”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me that before I ordered it? Why didn’t you tell me before I ate it?” Brian said with a look of disgust.

“Whatever. She’s the traditionalist, not me. Obviously.” Anika gestured to her own hamburger, “Besides, you better get used to vomitting if you’re stuck in Chanda’s body.”

“Wait...is she bulimic? Am I now bulimic?”

Anika seemed apologetic, “Oh, God, sorry no! And I probably shouldn’t joke like that about eating disorders, but, well, it’s a sister thing...like a thing I joke about with her out of jealousy, you know?”

“So this hamburger isn’t going to make me vomit?”

“Oh, no, it probably will. The beef thing I was totally serious about.”

Breakdown (Part 2)

View Part 1 of Breakdown.

“I got it while I was in town,” Jim explained, “They’re practical!”

“They’re practually hideous!” Ami interjected, “If my Instagram followers saw me looking like that...And, speaking of which, where did you get them?”

“You know I went to town. I stopped at the WalMart.”

Ami held back a dry heave, “Seriously?”

“It’s where I bought the parts for your car, too. No one was talking about nothing strange or unusual either, so whatever this body swapping stuff that affected us...we seem to be the only ones. I should still be able to fix your car though.”

“Thanks. Could you try not to get my hands too dirty?”

“Try not to...get your hands dirty?” Jim asked in confusion, “I’m gonna be working on your car. My hands ae gonna get dirty!”

“MY hands,” Ami reminded him, “You may be in control of my body right now, but those are still MY hands.”

“Naw, I get it. I’m just telling you there’s not much I can do about it. And if we aren’t able to swap back, all this talk about dirty hands and not liking each other’s clothes are gonna seem like small taters.”

Ami hated to admit it, but she knew Jim was right.

Breakdown (Part 1)

A day ago, Ami’s car had broken down by the remote farmhouse. Jim extended his rural hospitality to her as best he could, even if he found Ami to be a stuck up and obnoxious city girl. Ami didn’t think too highly of Jim either, perceiving him as a backwards redneck. Still, they both tried to be polite with Jim offering to help Ami with her car, explaining he just needed to go into town tomorrow for a few parts, and Ami being quite grateful in response. The tension between them was unspoken up until the moment they swapped bodies.

For the next few hours, it was a shouting match full of insults before they both finally calmed down. Jim finally decided the plan stayed the same; he’d go into town and get the car parts the next day, but also ask around regarding any strange circumstances. Ami would stay here and watch the television for any news reports about any sort of incidents.

Jim was gone several hours and came back shocked to see how Ami had dressed his body. “Where the hell did you even get clothes like that from?”

“Next day shipping,” She replied, “There’s no reason I can’t make your body look good as long as I’m the one in it!”

“Well, just don’t leave the farm dressed like that. You’ll embarrass me for the next decade.”

“And can we talk about what YOU’RE wearing!?”

“I got it while I was in town...” Jim explained.

Acceptance

Isaac was pretty sure it was difficult for his parents when he came home from college for Christmas break. After all, thanks to the accident in the lab, he had swapped bodies with Farah just a few days beforehand. He was sure they were having a lot of trouble accepting that the dark-skinned Muslim girl was actually their blond Christian son. He tried to make it easier for them by really leaning into the holiday season. He wasn’t sure it was working.

When Christmas Eve rolled around, he sat them down in the living room.

He tried his best to smile as he explained it all to them. “Mom, Dad,” He said, “I know it’s hard to accept that it’s me, Isaac, inside this body, but it is. Farah and I were being irresponsible, and we swapped bodies. I know you don’t believe me when I say that, but it’s true. I’m your son. I hope the teachers and researchers figure out a way to reverse this by the time we get back, and that the next time you see me, I’ll look like how you remember. But there’s a chance they won’t. And I’m worried that you’re having a hard enough time accepting this while it’s probably temporary. I worry how you’ll treat me if it’s permanent. I love you both, and no matter what, I don’t want to love you, okay? Please, just tell me you can accept this...”

Tourists

“I know that teleporting out brainwaves into the bodies of locals is way cheaper than flying, but did you know they were going to put us both in women’s bodies when you booked it?” Robert asked his wife.

“Women’s bodies here were significantly cheaper,” Betsy explained, “Maybe you’ll learn to appreciate me better being like that for a few weeks while we try to truly embrace the culture here. It also feels nice to be the taller one for a bit! Not that you’re new little body isn’t cute as well!”

“Oh, shut up. I know you’re loving this, but I hate it. I’m just thankful she had a few button up shirts and pants in her wardrobe.”

Burbs

Kumar wasn’t sure why he was suddenly walking on an suburban street listening to two white woman prattle on, but he didn’t want to startle them, so he just smiled and nodded. Upon doing so, he felt a strane brushing on his neck. He quickly discovered he now had long blond hair, and the reason he wasn’t freaking these women out was because he was now also a white woman just like them.

A few minutes ago, he was a large dark-skinned man living in the city; yet now he was in the burbs in the body of a white woman. He still decided trying to blend in as much as possible was his best bet, which he guessed wouldn’t be too hard considering the body he now had. That is, until one of the women spoke to him directly.

“Shelley, do you ever worry Thom is cheating on you?” One of them asked.

“Who da hell is Thom? Y’all not callin’ me a homo,” Kumar said, not able to hide his inner city dialect. He saw their shocked reaction and quickly tried to correct himself by speaking like a valley girl, but it still felt a little forced, “I mean, uh, like kidding! Thom and I are like fine.”

Privilege (Part 3)

View Part 1 of Privilege.
View Part 2 of Privilege.

Eventually, Niti and Brad lost contact, and she didn’t hear from him for several years until an invitation arrived for her. Niti was excited and got dressed in her most expensive suit for the occasion. She was pulled aside by another guest and told to wait. Soon enough, Brad showed up.

“It’s truly an honor and privlege to be here,” Niti said excitedly, “I can’t believe you’re getting married!”

Brad blushed and smiled, “I know! When we swapped, I was honestly worried. I thought the rest of my life was going to be miserable. I thought I had lost it all. But it’s been truly great. I’m about to get married to a handsome man, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I never would have had any of these if we hadn’t swapped bodies all those years ago. And I’m honored to have you here. The privlege is all mine. Thank you for everything.”

Privilege (Part 2)

View Part 1 of Privilege.

Niti and Brad did everything they could think of to swap back to normal, but nothing worked. Over time, they just came to accept they would be stuck as each other. Niti didn’t really mind. Being stuck in Brad’s body had its perks. She was able to command an amount of respect as a man that she was never able to as a woman. She hated to admit it, but it felt pretty good. But she was, of course, worried about Brad dealing with her body.

But strangely, he seemed to also adapt fairly well. She was surprised when she first saw him wear a dress, and she had heard rumors that he was dating a guy. They’d still meet up from time to time, but they no longer talked about switching back. Mostly, they just gave each other life updates. She would try to compliment his appearance, and he’d put his hands on his hips to tell her that he simply got natural good looks from her; it was one of the few references to how they used to be each other.

Privilege (Part 1)

When Niti looked down, she saw that she had pale, white, masculine hands. When she looked up, she saw her own body standing there. She had woken up in Brad’s body, and he had woken up in hers. They had rushed to meet each other, and she could obviously tell that Brad didn’t have time to do her hair and just grabbed a sweatshirt; she was impressed he managed to do her makeup well enough though.

“I guess...I’m sorry,” Brad suggested, “I’m sorry for that stuff I said yesterday. I suppose I do have white male privilege. Or I did. It certainly feels like I want it back. I want my body back. You can fix this, right?”

Niti looked at him in shock. “I...didn’t...do...this,” She said pausing between each word, “I don’t know why we swapped bodies. If saying sorry gets us back normal, then I guess I’m sorry too? For...hurting your feelings?”

But the two friends just stared at each other, still trapped in each others’ bodies.

Kpop Star (Part 3)

View Part 1 of Kpop Star.
View Part 2 of Kpop Star.

While the concert had been fun, living Kim Soo’s life back in Korea was completely surreal for Jason. For starters, her handlers made almost every decision. They told him what to wear and where to go. The schedule with media appearances, parties, and other happenings made the concert seem relaxing by comparison. Security would often keep him at a significant distance from the general public, except for a few select autograph signings and other such events. He couldn’t believe how controlled Kim Soo’s life was, which was now his life, and there didn’t seem to be any way out of it!