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Wednesday, May 29, 2024

The Karen

“I keep telling you Ma’am, that’s a feature of the phone. That’s the way it’s supposed to work! I wish you could understand my perspective here.” Max said to the Karen he was helping. He hated working customer service at this tech store for this very reason. Some people just couldn’t understand the limitations the company placed on low level workers like him.

“Well, I just wished you knew how annoying it was to be a customer in this store.” The Karen complained.

And then a strange electrical shock began to emanate from the phone. The Karen continued to complain, “See, what’s it doing now?”

“I’ve never seen this --” Max couldn’t complete his sentence before the phone zapped both of them. And it was like the phone was searching for some way to grant the wishes it heard. Max now found himself in the body of the Karen, and the Karen now found herself in Max’s body. They both knew something was very wrong, but for some reason they could only keep talking abou the phone.

“You know what?” Max said now inside the Karen’s body and speaking with her voice, “I’m sorry. I was overreating. The phone is actually fine. I love it.”

“Is there anything else I can help you with today?” The Karen asked now in Max’s body.

“I guess you could show me the fitness trackers. I’ve been looking into getting one for a while now...”

Tuesday, May 28, 2024

Legitimate

Tony had spent the last week in this strange asylum. He had been locked up after trying to explain how he a woman had swapped bodies with him. Each morning, a doctor would come to see him; Tony would usually react angrily because the doctor would simply try to explain that body swapping is pure fantasy, and that Tony needed to accept that he was really a woman and always had been.

Tony was particularly mad today.

“What kind of shitty doctor are you?” He yelled, “Let’s say I am lying! Let’s say I am a woman who is simply insisting she is a man! That would make me some sort of transsexual or something, right? Shouldn’t you accept that as my gender identity? You’ve filled my wardrobe with nothing but dresses; I’ve been wearing my old clothes for this entire time! Why are you pushing that shit on me? I’m beginning to doubt your a doctor! I’m beginning to doubt this place has any legitimacy!”

The doctor smiled and calmly walked away without saying anything until they reached the door. “Legitimate or not, you’re here now. Aren’t you? And if we are illegitimate, it would seem fighting us would be very unwise, as you wouldn’t be getting out of here until we get you to say and think in the exact ways we would want, don’t you think?”

Monday, May 27, 2024

Goblin Princess (Part 4)

View Part 1 of Goblin Princess.
View Part 2 of Goblin Princess.
View Part 3 of Goblin Princess.

As soon as the adventurer returned, Ryan once again felt himself look control to the pre-programmed actions of the Goblin Princess NPC. He became overjoyed upon seeing the ring and commanded the goblins begin making wedding preparations. But the adventurer seemed hesitant. Ryan was becoming furious. Was this man getting cold feet? Was he going to rejected again? Ryan began to connect with his goblin side, feeling irratic rage; he turned hostile and began to attack the adventurer. The other goblins did so as well.

The battle was bloody, but the goblins proved victorious with the adventurer’s party wiped out. Ryan’s head was still swirling with goblin rage and lust, but he felt like this should be the end of it. This should be the point where the game asks you to load a previous save or resets.

But, no, this was just the beginning. Tonight, they would celebrate, feasting on the flesh of their victims and drinking more spirits. But with the magic ring, Ryan now felt empowered. He didn’t have to stand around here waiting for another adventurer to come by. He could seek out his own destiny and carve his own path. Yet there were parts of his programming he couldn’t fight. Even as he vowed to leave the walls of the goblin castle and set out on his own quest, he knew exactly what the goal of that quest would be: Finding a husband so he could birth lots of quarter-goblin babies!

Sunday, May 26, 2024

First and Foremost

“Is it done?” Vorn asked.

“Aye,” The sorcerer replied, “I have captured all your male energies here. I will bind them to your gold as part of your payment. Though I must say, given the treatment of lasses in these realms, I found your request unusual. When word gets out about my magic, few request a transformation from male to female.”

“You know very little of drow culture, I presume. In the underdark, menfolk are second class citizens. We are often treated as property...or worse. At least property is seen as having value. I don’t suppose you would understand.”

The sorcerer paused, “I might understand more than you might know.”

“You used to be a female elf, didn’t you? You discovered this magic so you could help yourself first and foremost?”

The sorcerer paused again, “Aye.”

Saturday, May 25, 2024

Genius (Part 2)

View Part 1 of Genius.

After changing out of her work clothes and into some jeans and a sweater, Martin didn’t feel any more better. He wasn’t sure if it was because his mom’s body was old or if was just having trouble adjusting to being a woman, but he simply couldn’t get comfortable. He tried to put it out of his head as he decided to do something he really enjoyed -- analyzing data!

The initial results from the swapping device looked promising with well over 99% of memories, personality, and experiences exchanged between himself and his mother. Further, there didn’t seem to be any resistance from either body about the differing brain waves. He was feeling quite confident about his test.

But as he dug deeper, he realized it may have all been a little too good. Without any resistance, the ability to swap back would be greatly diminished. In fact, he estimated if they didn’t swap back in the next few hours, they would be unable to swap back for another two years.

In a panic, Martin called his mom. However, he heard the ringing in the other room -- she had forgotten her phone! He had to think! What was the name of the place where she said she’d be going? He did a quick search on the web. If he hurried, he could get there before it was too late.