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Friday, May 17, 2024

Hippie Bullsh*t

The flash of light that caused most of the world to swap bodies would come to be known as the Great Shift, but in its immediate aftermath, people were just trying to figure out what was going on.

Bert went from examining specimen in the university research lab to suddenly find himself in the campus spirtual center. It wasn’t so much the fact that he was in a completely different body that threw him off, but the fact that the body was in some sort of pretzel yoga pose that proved quite difficult to get out of. He immediately rushed back to the lab to find his body sitting there chanting in meditation.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked.

“I need to align my chi,” Moon responded, “I can clearly tell we’ve swapped bodies. Your residual aura on this body clearly matches what is radiating off of you standing there in my body right now. I suggest you join me; it will go faster.”

“Nonsense! This problem isn’t going to be solved with some hippie bullsh*t; we need science. I was just doing research on a species of jellyfish that could --”

“I’m not trying to harsh your vibe, but if you could please just do your science stuff over there somewhere; I really need to concentrate on this.”

Bert mumbled as they both attempted to find a way to reverse the effects of the Great Shift, but no one ever found a way to do so. And everyone, including Bert and Moon, were stuck in swapped bodies for the rest of their lives.

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